


Wisdom Teeth

by allikatt



Series: Proof That Peter Has Zero Self-Preservation Instincts [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Canon Compliant, Not Spider-Man: Homecoming Compliant, after surgery high, blood mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 07:22:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19786006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allikatt/pseuds/allikatt
Summary: “I ‘abe sup’r ‘owers?”“Your Spiderman.”“I’M BITERMAN?”Tony chuckled. “Yes, you’re Spiderman.”“‘HAF’S SO COOL!”





	Wisdom Teeth

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone!
> 
> This is the sixth part in a series of one-shots about how Peter Parker's self-preservation skills are mostly lacking when it comes to injuries or healing in general. All of these prompts are based off of things that happened to me as I grew up. The story behind this fic will be in the end notes if you want to read it!
> 
> If you can't understand any of Peter's lines, please let me know and I will tell you what he's saying.

Peter woke up confused. He didn’t know where he was, and his mouth was filled with some type of cottony slime. He reached to pull it out, but a hand on his wrist stopped him. “Wha…?”

May materialized in front of him. “Hey sweetie, you have to leave that gauze in for a little bit longer, okay?” He didn’t really understand the statement, but nodded anyways. He was feeling a bit sleepy, and decided that a nap would do some good.

Peter was more coherent the second time around. He could hear May talking to someone, but when he looked around, he could not find her anywhere in the room. He then noticed the weird feeling in his mouth. As he took out the blood-stained gauze, Tony walked into the room.

“Look who's awake again! It’s nice to see you.” He noticed the ball of soiled fabric in Peter’s hand. “Here, throw that in this.” Tony handed him a wad of paper towels that he then threw into the biohazard can in the room. Turning back to the sink, he washed his hands before guiding the teen to do the same.

Just after Peter was once again sitting on the bed, May came in looking frazzled. “Oh, hello Peter. Sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up again; I had to step out to take a work call.”

“I ‘eard you ‘alkin’. I t’ouff you ‘ere wif me fen I woke up.”

“Would you look at that!” Tony exclaimed. “His super hearing is already making a comeback!”

Peter was confused. “Wha suber ‘earin’.”

“Baby, I was whispering down the hallway.” May sat down on the bed next to him.

“I ‘abe sup’r ‘owers?”

“Your Spiderman.”

“I’M BITERMAN?”

Tony chuckled. “This is pure comedy gold. Yes, you’re Spiderman.”

“‘HAF’S SO COOL!”

“Yes, honey, it is very cool.” May sat down next to Peter and finger-combed through his hair in an attempt to calm him down. “Tony, I know I was planning on taking him back to the apartment after this, but something came up at work. I have to go in.”

“Don’t worry, May, he can stay at the Tower with the Avengers and me.”

“FA ABEN’ERS ARE ‘ERE?”

“Shh… Yes they are, sweetie.” She wrapped her arm around Peter’s shoulder before addressing Tony again. “Please have someone keep an eye on him at all times. Based on previous experience, he’s going to try and do everything he’s not supposed to.”

*****

At the time Tony laughed at May’s statement, but not even an hour later he regretted not taking it seriously. He watched the scene in front of him unfold with a horrifying fascination. 

Peter stood in the common living room, holding one of Clint’s arrows. He began waving it around, shouting, “I habe the po’er of God an’ an’me on my ‘ide,” before dropping it on the rug. 

“Hi, Mis’er S’ar!” he exclaimed. “For’s my fab’rite Aben’er!”

Tony stepped out of the elevator, storming over as Clint strolled into the room. “Where did he get that? Clint, weren’t you watching him? That better not be one of yours.”

“What!?” He pointed to the discarded arrow on the carpet, “That’s not mine. And I was watching him, but when Thor arrived Peter insisted that he needed to meet him. Loki was with him, so I left after making introductions. Thor said he would look after him.”

The god in question stood up from where he was casually lounging on the loveseat. “Loki conjured it for him. He told me he wanted to reenact videos that show the wit of Midgard’s youth. He referred to them as Vines. I must admit, I do find it to be quite humorous.” 

Noticing how furious the two men in front of him looked, he quickly amended his previous statement. “Loki could tell that the Man of Spiders was not his usual self, so he made sure that the arrow could not harm him nor anyone else.” Quieter, he added, “We do not wish to have another Baldr incident.”

Returning to his usual booming self, he continued. “Young Spider has promised to show me more of such compilations.” He clasped Peter on the back. “I must go for now, so I leave you with the Man of Iron.” Thor raised his hammer in the air, and with a crack of thunder, he was gone.

“Was Thor trying to kill me via the kid? Almost gave me a heart attack.” Tony muttered as he sauntered towards the communal kitchen. In a chipper voice, he asked, “Are you hungry? I have applesauce and chocolate pudding with your name on it. Or I can make you a smoothie.” When he did not hear an answer, he turned around. The teen was not in sight. “Underoos?” Tony went back to the living room. “Peter, this isn’t funny.” He pulled pillows and cushions off of the couches, becoming desperate.

FRIDAY’s calming voice interrupted his frantic search. “Boss, Peter is in the southwest corner of the room near the ceiling.”

He dropped the cushion he held and swiveled towards the directed corner. Sure enough, Peter cowered there. Tony murmured to himself, “Please do not let this be a repeat of the Finals Madness incident.” It took him way too long to get Peter to stop clinging to the ceiling and get to bed. Softly, he began talking to him. “Hey, Petey, can you please climb down from the ceiling for me?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Please? You must be hungry; you haven’t eaten in a few hours.”

“No. You’re mad ad me.”

“I promise that I am not mad at you. I was frustrated with Thor and worried about you. Will you please come down?”

“No.”

With the rate the current negotiation was going, Tony had a feeling that it would take longer than the previous incident. Then, an idea sparked in his mind. “Hey, Pete, do you want me to get Wanda?” Peter nodded. “FRIDAY, can you please ask Wanda to come here?”

FRIDAY”s response was almost instantaneous. “Ms. Maximoff will arrive in approximately one minute.” 

Wanda must have been briefed on the situation by FRIDAY, as she made a beeline for Tony as soon as the elevator opened. Standing next to him, she quietly called out to the teen. “Hi, Peter. Are you doing okay?”

“No.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Mis’er S’ar hafes me. ‘e’s mad ad me.”

“I promise you he’s not mad at you.”

“Feally?”

“Yes, Pete. Remember, I can read minds.” She sent Tony a ‘not actually reading your mind’ look. “Do you believe me?”

“Yea.”

“Great! Do you want to come down the wall now?”

“I can’f!” Peter cried out.

Wanda could feel Tony’s internal panic rising. In the same soothing voice as before, she asked, “Why can’t you get down?”

“I’m dis’y from sha’ing my ‘ead and my ‘ands are ‘olding me and I'll fall if I lef go,” Peter rambled.

Wanda immediately surrounded him in her magic. “Do you see the red glow around you?” He nodded. “That’s my magic. If you let go of the ceiling, I can safely get you down. Does that sound good?” With a little more cajoling, Wanda convinced Peter to unstick from the ceiling and soon he was back on the couch.

Tony came up to the teen right away. “Hey, I’m really sorry that I scared you earlier. I was worried for you. Do you accept my apology?”

“Of cou’se, Mis’er S’ar.” He yawned.

“Are you feeling tired?” Peter nodded. “Let’s get you some more medicine and an ice pack. Then you can go to sleep.” Tony carefully helped him off the sofa. Turning to Wanda, he asked “Care to join us? I could use some help.” Peter was swaying quite a bit.

“Of course.” She looped Peter’s other arm around her shoulder, and the three of them slowly ambled towards the elevator.

When they finally arrived at Peter’s door, Tony unhooked himself from Peter and went to the web-slinger’s bed, pulling back the covers and fluffing up the pillows for him. “You two can come in now,” he called once he was done. Wanda and Peter clumsily arrived at his bed, and Tony settled him in. “Wanda, can you please grab a bottle of water from the fridge and the ice packs from the freezer? They’re in white pouches.”

“Sure.” She left and came back a few minutes later. “Is this the ice packs?” She held up a white piece of fabric with two pouches in it. 

“Yeah. It wraps around his head and keeps them in place. Can you had me the water bottle? I want Peter to take the painkillers before he completely falls asleep.” 

Once he had them, Tony was coaxing the sleepy teen to sit up. “I promise, after you take this, you can sleep however long you’d like.” Within a minute, Peter took the medicine, put on the ice packs, and was out like a light.

Wanda turned to leave, but Tony stopped her. “Hold up. I want to thank you for your help. You were able to get him safely down while I was internally panicking, thinking it was going to turn out worse than the Finals incident. If it wasn’t for you, he’d either still be up there, or back in the MedBay with another concussion.”

“It’s really no problem, Tony. I was happy to help.” She opened the door. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to go now.” He waved her off and she quietly shut the door behind her.

*****

Peter woke up, wondering why there were squishy things on his cheeks. Rubbing his eyes, he noticed he was in his room at the Tower, and Pepper was sitting on his desk chair next to his bed, intently studying something on her StarkPad. “Ms. Poffs…?”

“Hello, Peter. Did you have a nice nap?”

“Yep.” He took of the melted ice packs placed them on his night stand. “ Where’s Mis’er S’ark?”

“I told him he needed to eat, and he put me in charge of watching you. Apparently, he doesn’t trust anyone else at the moment. I’m sure he’ll be back any minute now since you’re up. Is your jaw hurting at all?”

Now that Pepper mentioned it, his mouth did hurt. “Yes.”

“There’s some numbing antibiotic in the bathroom. It’s probably best if you do it in front of a mirror.”

On the counter next to the sink was the numbing medicine, and he used it. He did not really think it truly numbed anything, but the pain was duller than before.

After finishing up in the bathroom, he opened the door to his room. Seeing Tony sitting in Pepper’s vacated seat, Peter said, “Hello, welcome to C’ili’s.” 

“That’s another Flower reference, isn’t it?”

“Bine. You’re caf’ing on.” Peter sat at the edge of his bed.

“And your face is less swollen.”

Thinking back to the bathroom mirror, Peter exclaimed, “If was rorse?”

“Yep. But you’re speaking clearer than earlier, so that’s a plus. Are you hungry? There’s still some applesauce and pudding with your name on it if you’d like.”

“Hat sounds great! Wha’ ‘appened earlier? Peter followed Tony out of his room, his bare feet padding softly down the hallway.

“You don’t remember?”

“Nope.” He shook his head to emphasize the point. “Oh!” Tony turned around and saw Peter leaning heavily against the wall. “Hat wasn’t a good idea.”

Tony helped steady Peter by looping his arm around the teen. “FRIDAY, what was his bad idea?”

“Peter shook his head. I believe it caused him pain and vertigo, hence why he was leaning up against the wall.”

“Jeez, kid, it’s like your concussion all over again. Are you good now?” Peter gave him a weak thumbs up. “Okay, we’ll settle for my kitchen instead of the common one.” They slowly made their way to the counter, and Tony refused to let go of the teen until he was absolutely sure he would not fall over in his chair.

Rummaging through the fridge, Tony called out, “Do you want applesauce or yogurt? Sorry, there’s no pudding in here.”

“Apple…” the rest of the word was lost as he tried to clear his throat.

“Applesauce it is. And you sound like you need a drink.” He slid a bowlful if the stuff over to Peter, before grabbing two glasses. “I even gave you a plastic spoon. Figured it would hurt less.”

“Hanks.” Tony sat down next to Peter, passing one glass of water to him, and keeping the other for himself. He ate a spoonful of applesauce before once again asking, “Wha’ ‘appened earlier?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Meeting Loki and For. ‘Hey are bery cool.”

“After meeting them, you did some Vine reenactments for Thor and promised to show him compilations on YouTube. Thor was very excited. Then, you stuck yourself to the ceiling and Wanda helped you down. After that, you were tired out and took a nap. It was nothing I couldn’t handle.” Tony made sure to keep his tone even and casual while summarizing the past few hours. He had no desire to stress out the teen and have him up on the ceiling again.

Peter nodded into his bowl of applesauce. “Okay. Can I ‘ave some pudding?”

“Of course. Let me go get some. And after we can watch a movie of your choice.”

Within the first 20 minutes of Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Peter was conked out on the couch, leaning heavily onto his mentor’s shoulder. When Tony noticed, he paused combing his hand through the kid’s curls to wrap another blanket around the teen, before resuming his previous motion. By the time Pepper came up an hour later, neither of them heard her ask FRIDAY to take a picture, as they were both asleep.

*****

Three days later, Tony was working on his latest Iron Man suit when Peter came bursting into the lab. “Does May know?”

“Does May know what?” Putting down a wrench, he turned away from the work table to study the teen. Peter appeared worried and slightly panicked.

“What happened after she went to work the day my wisdom teeth came out.”

“Yes, I told her what happened. It’s the same thing I told you.”

Peter became even more worked up. “I know you glossed over certain aspects, and now she does too!”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Please, Mr. Stark. I asked FRIDAY for the footage of me after my surgery. I thought it would be fun to show Ned. You didn’t mention, however, how I could’ve stabbed myself with an arrow--”

“Actually, according to Thor, it couldn’t hurt you. Something about not wanting it to be another Bladder incident or something.”

“Or how I could’ve fallen off the ceiling! You yourself said that I would’ve gotten a concussion if that happened.”

Tony nodded, conceding that tidbit to Peter. “That’s true, but we don’t know if she does know about it.”

“Mr. Stark! May just texted me requesting your presence at dinner tomorrow night. But it’s definitely a demand. Mr. Stark, she’s going to kill us.”

Tony pointed the wrench at Peter. “Correction, if anything, she’s going to kill me. You have an excuse, seeing as you had surgery earlier that day. But she won’t be killing me because I told the truth.”

“No, you gave her a sanitized version of events.”

“Same thing.” Tony shrugged.

“You do realize that Pepper and her are BFFs.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, you’re screwed.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> The dinner mentioned at the end of this part takes place in Part 7. So I guess it's a mild cliffhanger. (Sorry)! Tune in next week where we see May tell a story from Peter's youth.
> 
> When my wisdom teeth were removed, it was not a fun experience at all. I didn't fill my pain reliever prescription because I thought I would be fine. (I was not. For a week, I couldn't really eat anything and my face was pretty swollen). Also, I was forced to paint my room while dealing with really bad vertigo. Whenever I would stand on something to paint by the ceiling, I would get really dizzy. Since I had a bad experience, I tried to make this funny, so I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
